THE THINKER: The Science of "Love at First Sight"

With the romantic couple being the dominant media icon of our time (Dym & Glenn, 1993) and intimate relationships being the driving force of a large percentage of human behaviour, sociology & psychology have attempted to scientifically examine the phenomenon of attraction.

The theory of social homogamy explains that attraction occurs between people who are from similar social backgrounds (Holloway et al., 193).  Studies have shown the highest correlations of similarities in social factors are age, race, ethnic background, religion, socio-economic status, and political views (Holloway et al., 193); correlations for physical characteristics were also found, “suggesting that people find others with a similar appearance attractive” (Buss 1994). 

Ideal mate theory, on the other hand, suggests “that attraction is based on an individual’s unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her perceptions of the meaning of certain characteristics” (Holloway et al., 193). 

Interestingly, both theories support the concept of “love at first sight” and both theories provide a psychological reason for its occurrence.  According to the ideal mate theory, every person’s “unconscious ideal” is constantly being utilized to compare and measure another person’s attractiveness (Holloway et al., 193).  The theory of social homogamy explains that perceptions of an ideal mate formed from positive childhood “experiences with other individuals”(such as a person’s family, people within the community, and media personalities who are similar) creates an ideal that is then used to compare against a potential romantic candidate (Holloway et al., 194).   In effect, and according to both theories, when the experimental comparison registers high in its measurement of similarity to one’s ideal mate, an instantaneous psychological reaction occurs and creates the perception of “love at first sight!”

Creating a mindset for your ideal mate is another way to look at it.  Perhaps, you have an unconscious memory of your mother leaning over the crib: you notice her blue eyes; she is singing to you; you feel safe; you feel comforted.  Later in your life, while at elementary school, you are helped by a teacher who has a certain demeanor and body type that you unconsciously remember.  Even later, in your pubescent years, you find yourself watching Grace Kelly in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window; she stoops forward to kiss a sleeping James Stewart, white pearls glistening against her white neck; she moves closer, closer, even closer, her face suddenly filling the entire screen; you are struck by her blue eyes, her arched nose, her red lips….Now, as an adult, you enter a room full of people; you suddenly hear a soft voice in the corner, melodious, perhaps familiar; you look over; her frame is slight; she wears pearls, has blue eyes and there is just something, something, specifically, about her that especially attracts you…

Buss, D. M.  The Evolution of Desire.  New York: Basic Books, 1994.

Dym, B., & Glenn, M.  “Forecast for Couples.” Psychology Today July/August 1993.

Holloway, Maureen, et al.  Individuals and Families in a Diverse Society.  Toronto:

            McGraw-Hill Ryerson Limited, 2003.

VIGNETTE: Interests & Adoration, Juxtaposing 60 Years

                                                                     

1953

"Easy boys...I don't even smoke!"

                                                                   

2013

"Try aiming the bird just above the pig..."

THE ANTIQUARIAN: The Old Countess & Richard III

Famed for her beauty in youth, she has been called “the Kerry Diamond;” afterward famed for her longevity of life, she became “the Old Countess” of Desmond.

The legend of Katherine of Dromana, daughter of John FitzGarrett Lord of Decies, purports her birth year as 1464; records that in her 139^th year, she journeyed from Ireland to England (walking on foot from Bristol to London) to visit James I; and states that her death at the age of 140 was due to her falling from a tree while gathering nuts.

In actuality, Katherine was the second wife of the 12^th Earl of Desmond, Thomas “Maol;” she died in 1604, most probably at the age of 104; and reliable sources record that up to the end of her life, she would walk (for pleasure) five miles from her castle at Inchiquin to the market town at Youghal when she could have had “the best horse in the kingdom” take her there (Sainthill, 452).

So where did all the legends come from? After the rebellion and subsequent beheading of Gerald the 15^th Earl of Desmond in 1583, and for twenty years after the ruin of one of Ireland’s great patriarchal families, the solitary widow, who had managed to protect her dower estate while the rest of the earldom’s properties were parceled out to undertakers, remained unscathed.  For the local populace, she became a living vestige of a much loved and ancient house that had ruled over their ancestors for more than four hundred years.  The origin of the remarkable legends surrounding Katherine of Dromana, then, were rooted in what she came to symbolize for subsequent generations of Irish men and women who, as Richard Sainthill described it, must have seen “the Old Countess” as the beloved remnant “of a long past, and almost forgotten generation”(452).

A further testament to the kind of grandeur she came to represent is the legend of her dancing with the Duke of Gloucester (later Richard III) at a party given by his brother, Edward IV.  In one version of the tale, Richard is so taken with her that he repeatedly asks her hand in marriage, offers his current estates and the certainty of future prospects that, he suggests, may include the English throne.  Katherine, embarrassed by his advances, reminds the Duke that she is betrothed to the son of one of King Edward’s most beloved subjects, Thomas 8^th Earl of Desmond, and tells him that her only ambition is “to live---to die in my own land, with one who well deserves my heart’s best service”(Macarty, 278).  She then cuts short the Duke’s next protestation by simply wishing him well and walking away.  In Flora Macarty’s version of the story, the infamous future King of England reacts to this rejection by staring palely after the Kerry Diamond, curling his lip contemptuously, and “scorning his own weakness” (278). 

In effect, when viewed from a political perspective, “the Old Countess” became the woman who, in her youth, rejected all the imperial power of Plantagenet England and the one woman who, in her old age, defied and transcended all the dread power of England during its Tudor reign.

"You could have had all of THIS!"

Macarty, Flora. “Desmond; Or, The Charmed Life.”  The United States Magazine,

            And Democratic Review. (1837-1851). Vol 14 (69), Mar. 1844, pp. 276-283.     

            American Periodicals.  ProQuest. Web. 10 Feb. 2013.

Sainthill, Robert.  “The Old Countess of Desmond.  An Inquiry:

     Did She Seek Redress at the Court of Queen Elizabeth, as Recorded in the Journal of      

     Robert Sydney, Earl of Leycester? And Did She Ever Sit for Her Portrait?” 

     Proceedings of the Royal Irish Academy. (1836 – 1869). Vol 7 (1857-1861),

     pp. 429-473.  Royal Irish Academy. JSTOR. Web. 7 May 2011.

THE THINKER: Benjamin Franklin & "the Favour"

The designation of “genius” is much overused in society; however, the inventor, statesmen, politician, and satirist Benjamin Franklin was one of those rare individuals who truly warranted the title.  Described as the First American and immortalized as one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, the new Republic relied upon his ambassadorial skills to woo the French aristocracy into an alliance with the United States that became an essential component for victory in the Revolutionary War.  On his work in France, the scholar Leo Lemay remarked that Franklin was “the most essential and successful American diplomat of all time" (“Benjamin Franklin”).

Following some folk wisdom that he had learned, a major part of the American Statesman’s political strategy was based on the maxim, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged” (Aronson, 288). Testing the theory, in 1736, on an antagonistic member of the political opposition, Franklin recorded the experiment as follows:

            Having heard that he had in his library a certain very scarce and curious

            book I wrote a note to him expressing my desire of perusing that book

            and requesting he would do me the favour of lending it to me for a few

            days.  He sent it immediately and I return’d it in about a week with

            another note expressing strongly my sense of the favour.  When we next

            met in the House he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and

            with great civility; and he ever after manifested a readiness to serve me

            on all occasions, so that we became great friends and our friendship

            continued to his death (Aronson, 288).

Over two hundred and forty years later, this casual experiment was empirically tested by Jon Jecker and David Landy (Aronson, 288).  A group of students who participated in a mock task were later asked, as a favour, to return the money they had received for participating; they were told: this would help refund a financially strapped experimenter who claimed he was using his own funds to finance the project (Aronson, 288).  Another group of students were not asked to return the money they had received.  When all the participants were later required to fill out a questionnaire rating the experimenter, those “who had been cajoled into doing a special favour for the experimenter found him most attractive” (Aronson, 288).

In his book The Social Animal, Elliot Aronson explains the psychological perspective at work when one undertakes doing a favour for another person:  “In effect, we will say to ourselves, ‘Why in the world did I go to all of this effort (or spend all of this money, or whatever) for Sam?  Because Sam is a wonderful person, that’s why!’”(287).

"Excuse me, Ma'am...Would you do me a favour?"

Aronson, Elliot.  The Social Animal. 4^th Edition.  New York: W.H. Freeman &

            Company, 1984.

“Benjamin Franklin.”  World of Influence.  Twin Cities Public Television, Inc. 2002.   

            Web. 25 Feb. 2013.