With the romantic couple being the dominant media icon of
our time (Dym & Glenn, 1993) and intimate relationships being the driving
force of a large percentage of human behaviour, sociology & psychology have
attempted to scientifically examine the phenomenon of attraction.
The theory of social homogamy explains that attraction
occurs between people who are from similar social backgrounds (Holloway et al.,
193). Studies have shown the highest
correlations of similarities in social factors are age, race, ethnic
background, religion, socio-economic status, and political views (Holloway et
al., 193); correlations for physical characteristics were also found,
“suggesting that people find others with a similar appearance attractive” (Buss
1994).
Ideal mate theory,
on the other hand, suggests “that attraction is based on an individual’s
unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her perceptions of the
meaning of certain characteristics” (Holloway et al., 193).
Interestingly, both theories support the concept of “love at
first sight” and both theories provide a psychological reason for its
occurrence. According to the ideal mate theory, every person’s
“unconscious ideal” is constantly being utilized to compare and measure another
person’s attractiveness (Holloway et al., 193).
The theory of social homogamy explains
that perceptions of an ideal mate formed from positive childhood “experiences
with other individuals”(such as a
person’s family, people within the
community, and media personalities
who are similar) creates an ideal that is then used to compare against a potential
romantic candidate (Holloway et al., 194).
In effect, and according to both
theories, when the experimental comparison registers high in its measurement of
similarity to one’s ideal mate, an instantaneous psychological reaction occurs
and creates the perception of “love at first sight!”
Creating a mindset for your ideal mate is another way to
look at it. Perhaps, you have an
unconscious memory of your mother leaning over the crib: you notice her blue
eyes; she is singing to you; you feel safe; you feel comforted. Later in your life, while at elementary
school, you are helped by a teacher who has a certain demeanor and body type
that you unconsciously remember. Even
later, in your pubescent years, you find yourself watching Grace Kelly in
Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window; she
stoops forward to kiss a sleeping James Stewart, white pearls glistening
against her white neck; she moves closer, closer, even closer, her face
suddenly filling the entire screen; you are struck by her blue eyes, her arched
nose, her red lips….Now, as an adult, you enter a room full of people; you
suddenly hear a soft voice in the corner, melodious, perhaps familiar; you look
over; her frame is slight; she wears pearls, has blue eyes and there is just
something, something, specifically, about her that especially attracts you…
Buss, D. M. The Evolution of Desire. New
York : Basic Books, 1994.
Dym, B., & Glenn, M.
“Forecast for Couples.” Psychology
Today July/August 1993.
Holloway, Maureen, et al.
Individuals and Families in a
Diverse Society. Toronto :
McGraw-Hill
Ryerson Limited, 2003.
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